Premeditated
Etiquette has a new judge.
Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde investigate improvised social lawbreaking in a low-stakes fictional true crime podcast that will thrill you. We weekly and boldly prosecute the most innocuous violations of social decorum in a world that’s both too polite for its own good, and too shamelessly chaotic to continue unpunished.
In each episode, only one improviser knows what social law will be broken, leaving the other to react to the unfolding etiquette crime with a mix of shock, confusion, and judgment.
The crime? Social faux pas that we all secretly fear.
The trial? Ten to fifteen minutes of litigation.
We bravely dig into these micro-crimes, cross-examine experts (ourselves), and debate whether these laws should be upheld, expanded, or struck from the record entirely.
Tune in for untrue crime, biting social commentary, courtroom drama (minus the stakes), and the gratification of seeing manners put on trial. It’s a procedural like no other, where the crime is petty, but the discussions are downright serious.
In a world teeming with rules you didn't even know existed, Premeditated is your court of last resort.
Premeditated
Soiled Denim v. Regular Washing
In this gripping inaugural episode of Premeditated, hosts Graham and Neil dive into an investigation involving two college students caught in an unsettling dispute. One believes that denim, of all things, magically cleans itself, while the other is rent utterly aghast by this claim.
As Graham and Neil uncover the case files of their friendship, they unravel the tensions that escalate from a seemingly trivial debate about laundry habits into something far darker. Is this a case of simple misunderstanding, or is there something more sinister lurking beneath the surface, and in the freezer?
Join us as we explore the dynamics of college life, the psychology behind jeans, and how an innocent disagreement might lead to a chilling crime or a chilled pair of pants. With their signature blend of humor and investigative prowess, Graham and Neil get to the bottom of one of the most perplexing cases to date.
Tune in for laughs, suspense, and a twist you won’t see coming.
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Justice Neil: Mr. Graham, I must ask you directly: Is it your assertion that denim, without intervention, such as washing, can maintain cleanliness indefinitely?
Mr. Graham: In a sense, yes, Your Honor. The denim’s weave, the cotton fibers, they simply do not hold odor or dirt the way other materials do. Denim, in its infinite wisdom, self-regulates. It breathes. It cleans itself.
Justice Neil: Interesting. You would have us believe that denim, as a fabric, has inherent qualities beyond those recognized by centuries of textile development?
Mr. Graham: Not beyond, Your Honor, but perhaps before. Denim was once worn by miners, farmers, people who had no time or means to engage in frequent laundering. It was made to be durable, practical. And I am merely acknowledging the resilience it continues to demonstrate, even today.
Justice Neil: And yet, Mr. Graham, you do not contend that other materials share these same characteristics?
Mr. Graham: I do not, Your Honor. Denim stands alone in this regard.
Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde
insta: @premeditatedpod
